A teenager comes home from school and asks his dad,
‘What’s the difference between potential and reality?’
His dad says, ‘I’ll show you. Ask your mum if she’d sleep
with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your
sister if she’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.’
So the kid goes to ask his mum, ‘Would you sleep with Robert
Redford for a million dollars?’ His mum says, ‘Don’t tell your
father, but yes, I would.’ Then he asks his sister,
‘For a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?’
She says, ‘Yes!’ The kid goes back to his dad and says,
‘I’ve got it. Potentially we’re sitting on two
million bucks – but in reality, we’re living with a couple of slags.’

London according to the government is no longer the home of the queen, beefeaters and 10,000 chatty cab drivers who know where they are going. Instead its a multicultural city where you can hear 600 different languages on even the shortest trip to the shops.

Were told that this is what won us the olympics.

Tourist dont come here for our weather, the quality of our local food, nor are they attracted to the excellent value of our hotels, the beaches or Birmingham. I’ve never met a America or Chinese tourist who has said “I wanna come to England to buy a Arabic newspaper from a Bengali store where the shopkeeper speaks Russian”.

What most tourist come here for is not for the multicultural nature of it all, its for the history like shakespeare and the tower of London. Yeh its true they may go to see some dead dogs in the Tate modern art gallery, but thats only because they we sat all mornign on top of a sightseeing bus and they’re freezing.

As a man I am always unwilling to pull over the car and ask for advice, this is due to a number of reasons, mainly cos it would seem like the other person are somehow better than me, and well obviously they are not cos I am nice and warm in my car and they are plodding along on foot.
Sometimes though stopping to ask for directions is un avoidable. If they begin their sentence with “er” then obviously they don’t know and your gonna waste hours thinking whether to go left or right at the roundabout. So here’s a tip, if the sound unsure or look lost anyhow, even for the briefest moment, DRIVE OFF.
However, some people will go off on one, giving out military like directions with clear and consice hand signals, over the rounabout at three o clock. But this is no help either, cos its a known fact that, ever since the dawn of time, men will hear the first word then shut down. This can be proved… how?? u ask…. well, look at the romans, they invaded England, went back to italy to celebrate , then didnt come back for 80 years. Why is that ??? Well, its cos they couldnt find it, and even if they asked for directions in france, they didnt listen.

Re:
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

This is basically a website based around a AI creation of a chat response bot GOD…ask it questions and it will gladly reply you with predefined answers depending upon what you asked it and how u asked it.
It was hilarious..quite a few of my mates played with it asking it random questions like…”Do you fart” ..etc etc…. and the AI with give some smart ass answers…..I crashed it twice when asking “Teach me a new word” and “10001101010010″ …. Think i confused it….. lol